The most important elements in overcoming social anxiety.

1. An understanding and awareness of the problem,

2. A commitment to carry through with cognitive-behavioral therapy even when it is repetitious and seems difficult,

3. Practice, practice, practice to get that information (i.e., cognitive methods, strategies, and concepts) deep down into your brain - so that these cognitive  methods become habitual and automatic,

4. Participation in a social anxiety therapy group in which you can slowly and gradually work on problems that cause you anxiety in the real world. 

That is, the person who feels anxious while reading in public uses specific strategies to meet his goal, whereas the person who wants to learn how to make introductions and engage in small talk during social activities slowly works toward her goals. We use role-plays, acting, the tape recorder and video camera, question and answer periods, mock job interviews, and doing foolish things deliberately as part of our behavioral therapy group for people with social anxiety.

Note: A ladder or "hierarchy" should be used as a flexible guide in planning. We want to practice, meet our goals, move up our expectations, meet our goals, move up our expectations, until our goal is finally met. 

Social anxiety behavioral therapy groups should not pressure, push, or cajole people to do things.  No negative tactic should be employed because the individual must choose to participate at her own pace. If she wants to sit there in group and not say a word, that’s O.K.  No one should be made to do anything.  

How do people get better, then, you may be asking.  Here’s the secret: This has never happened.  People in the group understand why they are there and, despite an amount of anxiety that is naturally present, they voluntarily choose to work on their specific anxieties. This is much more practical and real-life than being forced to do something.

Therapy groups for social anxiety should always be encouraging, positive, and supportive.  If the right atmosphere is set, people can make (and continue to make) progress up their "hierarchy" of social anxieties.

It is impossible to stop a motivated person who refuses to give up. The role of the therapist is to know specifically what to do and how quickly to do it. This sounds easy, but it is not. You must be practicing the right material and you must proceed at the correct pace for your own anxieties. You are more in control of this process than you think.

Today, cognitive-behavioral therapy is used to treat both forms of social anxiety. With cognitive-behavioral therapy, we do not wallow in the past and continually bring it up --- because it doesn’t do us any good. Instead, we focus onpresent-day problems and symptoms and use many small techniques and methods to eradicate anxiety thinking, feelings, beliefs, and belief systems. 

Here’s where motivation and practice come in. The more you can practice these small techniques at home, the quicker anxiety can be reduced and social anxiety can be overcome.